On a sunny Sunday a few weeks back Jules and I flew out to South Africa for her moms memorial service in Pietermaritzburg. The flights there interesting in that on the 767 Nationwide flight from Gatwick to Jo'burg (now OT something?) was quite good except for the bumpiness towards the end of the flight. The flight from J'burg to P'maritzburg was in a 30 seater BAe J41 twin turbo-prop plane. An experience. The "comet vomit" as it locally known, was a good flight. The landing in P'burg was exciting as the runway is only just long enough for this aircraft. One bump and then we were down, all brakes full on, reverse thrusters et al and stop. We made it!
The weather was good and the emotions where high and there was an underlying tension. Meeting Graham again with Bret and Lisa was good but emotional. There were tears and hugs. A sense of a family united, coming together albeit in grief, but it was something that they have done before and for me a privilege to be a part of. The next few days where of final preparations, who was to say what and when and if at all. Lisa said she would give a dedication/tribute and I was asked to read a psalm (121 one of Eleanor's favourites). Graham also was to say a few words. Barry, the pastor was to lead to service and give a short talk.. On the Tuesday afternoon we all went to the botanical garden in Pietermaritzburg just to have some time out and be together. It was a delightful afternoon, even to dogs enjoyed themselves. I'm not going to go into details, only to say that Wednesday was an emotional good day where, I felt, that the Lord blessed the day.
Then there was an air of relief, a "now we can move on". But as in these situations, this isn't always as easy as it seems. Now the questions of why? why now? why my mom? why? why? why?... These questions are some of the hardest to answer, mainly because the answer is out of our reach. May be with 20/20 hindsight will there be any semblance of an answer. But moving on we must. The world wont wait for us, no matter how much we wish!
We have been back for about two weeks now. The flights back where a little disappointing. The Comet Vomit was uneventful, which gave me time to actually enjoy flying over the landscape of South Africa. A slower pace of flying which has a lot gong for it. The flight from Jo'burg to Gatwick was a pain. Lisa, Jules and I had the 3 central seats, no real problem, but in front of us where two ladies (and I use the term loosely) who where under the impression the everything revolved around them. They just didn't settle. Most travellers flying on a night flight seem to take into account the other travellers, but not these two. After jockeying for position and status between themselves and the patient cabin crew they did put their heads down. The seats are not the most comfortable. Mike, a dear friend, collected us from the airport and dropped us home safely.
All our friends, many from
Jubilee Church, have been great, offering support and giving us space. Both being important. I must mention that our employers have been good in giving us time off for this, but (strange that there always seems to be a "but" with regard to employers!) but there is no similarity as to how many days compassionate leave one can have and as to who they consider to be "family". My employer doesn't include your wifes/husbands parents as family requiring compassionate leave. In these days of a degraded society and community I shouldn't be surprised, I am disappointed however. I am grateful for the time they did give me.
When Julia and I married we became members of each others family. In my humble opinion there shouldn't be any difference or distinction between the two sets of parents.
So, now we are back, and now we can get down to learning to enjoy living with each other, not that it wasn't before, just with so much going on it doesn't seem as though we had touched down since we wed.Now we can get on with living....
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