All in a dream?

Since the passing of Eleanor (Jules's mom) I have had time to think about where I am and how far I have come. When someone close to you, or to a close one, dies, life seems to slow down and almost stop. You have the time to dwell on things that you wouldn't normally. And for me that would be the last 18 months. They have whizzed along at a tremendous pace, a bit like being in a dream. In November 2005 I had plans to go to Australia. These I cancelled (after, I must say, talking and taking advice from valued friends) because it appeared that God wasn't in it, and really I didn't want to do something that God didn't want me to do. Since that time, life has taken hold of me! I met a wonderful young woman, Julia, who is now my wife, we have a home, I have a new job, and car to get me there and back! It's all been wonderful, and I give God the glory for it.
But, and its a big but, because it hasn't been plain sailing at it were.We have had problems along the way. All quite minor ones compared with what happened last week when Eleanor passed away. That really was a shock and something that Jules and I are still coming to terms with, one day at a time. But we know she is with the Lord, which is a far better place to be. And we will miss her. As Job said "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away" and although I was only just getting to know Eleanor, I valued the time I had with her, and I think, saw some of the special qualities God had given her. She was truly a special lady.
Some days I feel as though someone is going to pinch me and I'm going to wake up! Even though I've had some absolutely wonderful times, and some truly testing times, I am so glad it isn't a dream and I have lived it. I have had some experiences that I would have preferred not to have experienced, but the last 18 months isn't one of them. Why? I hear you ask when Eleanor had died last week? Well, it is because I can see (may be with 20/20 hindsight) that God has been involved in my life and that of my dear wife and I certainly would not want to change that. What ever God has for me is for my own good because He will not test me beyond that which I can endure. He will give me the strength to carry on and get through to the other side.
I am so looking forward to the rest of my life with Jules because we don't know what's ahead and I like surprises especially when God is involved! We can make plans, but without God, its like building a house on sand, but with God its like building a house on rock.